okey. i think that i've never been this torned before. yeah, i've always had problems with my splitter personality and stuff like that but now, it's like everything is fucked up - nothing in my life is actually okay atm. i want to eat as much as possible at the same time that i want to puke myself skinny. i want to be the ugliest girl in the world and the most beautiful at the same time. i want to forget all about you and i want you back more than ever. i want to forgive you more than anything else, but still, i don't want to. and i want to tell my family everything, and run away. again. just run away from everything, from my whole world. start over again, with new ppl and different places. and i don't know how to get forward from all of this. gosh. i wish that life would be easier  - but still, that would be to boring. but yeah. as i said - i'm torned.