and hey, i just want you to know that i'm feeling gr8. i thought that a post where i'm saying that is necessary, considering to all these kind-of-depressed ones, lol.

i'm quite sick at that everything has to be about love, but in the end - that's all that it comes down to, i mean for real. everything is love. love is everything. but right now i'm tired of it. i'm afraid of drawing a heart on my papers when i'm doodling, 'cause that is known for being a sign of that you're in love or something like that, and i don't like that. i don't want to be in love, i don't want to believe in it as i said. but since i'm now talking about love i might aswell update you on my heartache-status. some days after i wrote here i found out that he was back together with his ex, but some weeks afterwards he contacted me and we started to talk again, and then i heard that they'd brooke up (altough he never said this to me). and i now don't know what to do really. i don't think this is the kind of love i'm looking for atm. picture from my last party before school that i mentioned before, it was awesome. and it's an reminder that i should talk to this girl 'bout my problems. so long.

hey, i have this idea that you choose your own soundtrack to your life. right now, i'm like HELL YEAH. thanks kings of leon♥. everything is alright you guys.

Fo shizzle my dizzle!

hey, i payed a visit to africa in april. awesomeness. i've also had an kick-ass summer with a lot of parties and some loving (you already know 'bout my obsession with that shit). i'm quite excited to start school again, i'm guessing that the party on friday will be the last this summer vacation so i'm looking forward to going out with a bang. i'll get over this heartache, definitly.

honestly, i hope that i'm feeling this shitty 'cause i'm 'bout to have this experience once again, but still, it's like two weeks left if it suddenly has decided to become regular. otherwise, it's the fact that i let you go that's making me this depressive. and i think the best way to get over it is to write 'bout it (The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature, 500 days of summer, Henry Miller) and maybe talk it all over with a friend or something and to just keep on living, get other things to think 'bout. i know that i've got an opportunity to forget him on friday already. or, that's the next time i'm planning to get drunk anyway.

i've never understood how you can only be interested in one guy at the time, until i met this dude. maybe it was because other guys had worked me up so that i was ready for a real relationship for once in my life, but then i had to go and blow it all. or maybe it's just his fault as much as mine... i told him to go for his ex 'cause he still likes her. but i like him aswell, and what if he likes me too? but i know that he likes her more, i mean, i've only known him for about a month, but it still feels so right. i mean, i was ready to stop flirting with other guys completely, and i've never felt that way before.

love. i don't want to believe in it anymore, it's just annoying. i've always done this to other guys too, i've always pushed them into going for my friend or their ex just 'cause i'm afraid. afraid of getting hurt i would guess, or afraid that they'll regret choosing me over someone else. yeah, that's it. hey, i hardly know this guy. i'll meet someone eventually, and all this shit behind me will only make me stronger and more experienced, it will get me ready for when the real deal comes. but i'm still hoping that he'll realise that he had me and then maybe he'll come back, 'cause i'm quite sure that he wont get back together with his ex actually... although i'm kind of hoping that he will, 'cause i know how much he likes her. but i can't imagine that he'll suddenly just call me or something. it felt as if we said good bye forever yesterday... but i'll always remember the good times, the nights we spent in the same bed together♥.

okay, so here i am again. like, six months later... wow, it's quite hard to get the english back in your head after a long break. well, i'm mostly writing 'cause i don't feel so good atm, and i don't want to publish that in my other blog but still, i feel like i have to write 'cause something good can come out of this heartache. or at least something that's poetic or some shit like that. so, give me a moment to catch my breath and i'll tell you all why i'm blue.

just to get some color.

i have hiccups 24/7, but it's not "raining" if you know what i mean, i get a hiccup like three-four times a day, but today i've gotten two hiccups - and i'm talking about the heavy stuff. you know, when you can't breath, talk or do anything other with your mouth than to get hiccups? yeah... neat.

heya dudes! since i've got sick i spend my precious time well, watching gossip girl season one. i've seen that whole season like three times now, but that's the only one we got at home. i have a hum what's going on in that show atm if you know what i mean, and right now i want nothing other than to watch all the seasons to get a grip.

okay, hopefully the last time i upload a picture like this(believe me, i have much worse from that night):

thought it was quite fitting that last time i wrote, i was headed to this^. o.m.g. i had one of the best nights ever! and i got to celebrate valetines day alone with my five hickeys, excellente. altough the lips on the picture wasn't one of the makers to any spot on my neck. but i'm not the one who kiss'n'tell...

anyways, after that i got pretty sick, and during thoose days i didn't spend any time in front of the computer. almost none anyway. but now i have to make pancakes. i'm actually looking forward to tomorrow, to seeing a certain guy in school. loca loca.

.hola!

last night was awesome, said goodbye to a couple of good guys at about 2.30 and came home 3 - straight into bed. today i'm going to uppsala for la fiesta, two hours to go! i wont be seeing this cat then, 'cause we're sleeping at linn's place, hardly know the girl but that's the uppsala-lifestyle. have an awesome night dudes!

snowy days like this makes me wanna have summer more than ever. here's an old picutre from a camp i was on two years ago, and even though it doesn't look that "summerish", it really was. all the pictures in this category is taken with my old(pink) camera. all the pictures in the captainmclovin' category is taken with my new one. fyi.